Wednesday, June 15, 2005

The ultimate post

Well, it's good to see that after only a few months of posting, we've reached that blogging milestone: the "sorry we haven't been blogging, our lives have become overwhelming" post.

Truth is? Blogging to the BoyGirlBoyGirl blog is not the first thing I think of every morning. Truth is, first thing I think of is, "Wow. Another day still alive."

Which is more than Terri Schiavo thought for the last decade of her "life." I just listened to Randi Rhodes play a complilation of the liars and self important fucks who used her as a pawn to promote their self serving agendas. It was amazing. And sad. And infuriating.

Rhodes then launched into a passionate diatribe shaming them. It was galvanizing radio.

Hear it here once its been archived:

http://www.therandirhodesshow.com/randirhodes/archives_index.php

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Lonely, but not alone

It's been a while since anyone's posted to this blog. My apologies, teenage girl fan base. We're all fantastically too busy, I'm afraid.

Mrs. Karp has just recently brought a new life into the world and Baby Teddy seems to be selfishly commandeering all her attention. Children can be so cruel.

Mrs. Shaw is teaching and getting ready for grad school next year.

Mr. Kodeski is in the early stages of birthing his next one-man show "And Some Can Remember Something of Some Such Thing" (opens July 22 as part of Live Bait Theater's Fillet of Solo Festival -- details later).

Et moi? I just closed a re-mount of "Of Diamonds and Diplomats," my very first play (written in 1995 when I was still in grade school). It was presented at the Field Museum as part of their exhibit "Jacqueline Kennedy: the White House Years," a supposed incredible display of Jackie's sartorial flair. I say "supposedly" because I never got around to seeing the exhibit myself. Well, it only ran for six months!

At any rate, BoyGirlBoyGirl is rallying the forces for yet another show (our third), entitled "Britney's Man Dances for his Supper," a delightful and somewhat bitter take on fame, tattoo removal, and stage nudity as inspired by a Kevin Federline interview in the January 2005 issue of DETAILS magazine. We open on August 19th for 2 shows only. Many more details later.

Back to the sugar cane fields now. Love.

Friday, January 21, 2005

It's like meat but it's not meat!

Ah, Spam. It comes in so many forms. This one came in what looked to my (somewhat) educated eye as Polish. So, I just had to put the message through the translator at http://www.poltran.com - and below you'll find what it spit out. I've replaced words not recognized by the poltran computer with +++.

It's so mysterious! It's almost beautiful. I don't know what it is that appeals.

It's probably infected my Windows machine here at work with some kind of spyware thingamabob. All the eating and waves of eating pages make me a bit wary...

Coma cure about +++ and sugar from known and water it two but on +++.
It +++ be be as has selenium +++ but but for +++ if you are dodged and +++ as with +++. +++ cork and they ate chill in it forest him dock +++. On priest +++ be +++and +++ but it passs page military guilty for +++ but for house as result eat eat +++ because love about you expensive dear child cure fate it +++ it cure fate +++ and on on m too it +++ when condition on its his with hat +++ and pages +++. Roof spoils for house under chapels in without self-service store +++.

Pages pages tomb +++ and from +++ but with pages +++. But +++ as about difficulty pages it that priest +++ I and fear and river priest +++. Has on pages him well goods +++ and it +++ but with for on +++. From their dr. +++. With on +++. But I eat for pages won pages too +++. State but as +++but for +++ and scythe from pages+++ Remus +++ and they love with and slug as to two minutes about ex eat pages sound add +++ but as I eat from pages +++ Mart. Because with on +++. I eat +++. Pages +++ but that rather my mile +++. But you eat as this wave on it under over +++.

SpongeBob SexPanic

US conservative groups are up in arms over a music video featuring children's TV heroes such as the cheerful cartoon character SpongeBob SquarePants. Focus on the Family and other groups say the video - a remake of the Sister Sledge hit, We Are Family - is a vehicle for pro-gay propaganda.

The video's makers plan to mail it to US schools in the spring to promote tolerance and diversity. They say the attack is based on a misunderstanding. The video also features children's favourites like Bob the Builder, along with characters from Sesame Street and The Muppet Show.

But James Dobson, founder of right-wing Christian group Focus on the Family, singled out SpongeBob at a black-tie dinner in Washington in the run-up to President Bush's inauguration, the New York Times said.

SpongeBob - who appears on the children's cable channel Nickelodeon - is seen as an icon for adult gay men in the US, apparently because he regularly holds hands with his sidekick Patrick. His creators deny that he is gay, but he is not the first such character to cause controversy. In 1999, conservatives claimed handbag-carrying Teletubby Tinky Winky, an import from the UK, was a bad role-model.

Nile Rodgers, who wrote the song and is founder of the We Are Family Foundation (WAFF) which released the new video, says it is intended to help teach children the values of co-operation and unity. "We believe that this is the essential first step to loving thy neighbour," he said. "And the fun and exciting format makes it a lesson that's easy for children to learn."

But conservatives say it sees the video as a cunning attempt to promote homosexuality. They point to the fact that the WAFF is linked to a pledge being promoted by some liberal groups which includes a recognition of tolerance of sexual identity. "We see the video as an insidious means by which the organisation is manipulating and potentially brainwashing kids," Paul Batura, a spokesman for Focus on the Family, told the New York Times.

Mr. Rodgers said the groups may have confused his foundation with an unrelated organisation with a similar name that supports gay youth. WAFF spokesman Mark Barondeso told the newspaper that anyone who thought the video promoted homosexuality "needs to visit their doctor and get their medication increased".




Thursday, January 13, 2005

Is this what it costs for a DELETE key?

I had gotten used to the fact that my delete key had snapped off my iBook G-3 a long time ago. It didn't bother me all that much. But, I figured, "Hey, I've paid for this Apple Care program. I should use it." So, I stopped in at the Genius Bar and arranged to have it repaired. When it had been replaced the Genius asked me if I had Apple Care on the machine. I said I did.

Little did I know that the Apple Care had recently expired and could no longer be covered under the program. The machine is more than three years old, after all. This was explained patiently to me by the genius and I expressed again, "Little did I know!" I think he thought I knew more than I was letting on and let me know by the cold stone-face he was now giving me as he decided to let me have the new keyboard and his time and effort for nothing. I didn't, but there was no convincing him otherwise.

On the way back to the office I stopped in at one of those ubiquitous Loop lunch locations that have sprung up everywhere - The Corner Bakery in this case - and bought myself a chicken sandwich. It was made fresh to order because that's one of the things they do.

I ate it and continued on with my day.

Now, I'd already been feeling somewhat under the weather that day. I thought that maybe I was coming down with a cold. And as the day progressed I felt progressively worse. Worse and worse. I left the office early and several times on the train ride home thought I might perhaps be better off getting off the train early so as to yak into a convenient trash can. I was experiencing that peculiar metallic salivating that one gets just before hurling one's guts.

Four more stops. Three more stops. Two more stops.... I continually kept reassuring myself that I wasn't going to hurl. One more stop...

I made it home. Felt relatively okay for an hour or so - just sort of punky and tired. Then, slowly, began to feel decidedly worse. In waves. Nauseating undulating waves.

The sofa was at sea. I pulled an afghan over me and drifted somewhere just above consciousness.

I was torn between a desire to exorcise the contents of my agitated digestive tract and the knowledge of what that would entail. Painful spasms. Uncontrollable gagging. The possibility of hot sulfuric puke acid blasting through my sinuses. The stink of it all.

Edward was solicitous on arriving home but of little help. It wasn't his fault. Nothing could be done at this point except to ride out the storm within.

The minutes ticked by and at roughly 9:15 p.m. the evil devil spawn within demanded to be born.

Painful spasms. Uncontrollable gagging. Hot sulfuric puke acid blasting through my sinuses.

I was surprised, really, at how little had up-chucked and was considering the tattered bits of arugula and red pepper still floating amid the yellowish scum when I delivered again.

Painful spasms. Uncontrollable gagging.

Back to the sofa with teeth chattering chills and a deep seated knowledge that that which had not been expelled would most certainly be snaking its poisonous way through deeper recesses.







Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Loose kangaroo captured in Wisconsin

MADISON, Wis. (AP) -- A kangaroo that went on a walkabout of frigid Wisconsin just might settle down in the Midwest after all.
The red-haired marsupial, now known as "Roo," was captured in a snowstorm outside of Dodgeville last week. Sheriff's deputies cornered the 150-pound critter in a barn after receiving calls for days from shocked residents who had seen it.
Kangaroos can be purchased for about $1,000 or more in the United States, but no one has reported him missing.
Roo remains under quarantine at the Henry Vilas Zoo, and if no one claims it, zoo officials plan to introduce it to their other kangaroos to see if they get along.
But if things don't work out, Margaret Suter said she has room at her home near Madison, where she already keeps six kangaroos and a wallaby.
"I worried for that kangaroo. It lost its caregiver," Suter said. "And if you own one of these animals, you shouldn't turn your back on it."
Suter's kangaroos have a variety of stories -- she took in one that was wounded and had one of his arms amputated. Another, named Skippy, is a blind 1-year-old female with her very own special quarters.
She got Captain, her first, about eight years ago and learned the animal's habits and requirements as she went along. Her kangaroos eat oats and special pellets, as well as snacks of fresh fruit.
"They can seem just like big teddy bears," she said. "They're beautiful animals and I just love them."

"They attacked the children!!!"

In a city where a massive flock of crows has pestered local residents for years, officials are now fighting back with a hazing program aimed at disrupting the birds' sleeping habits and driving them into the countryside. Scientists from the U.S. Department of Agriculture's Fish and Wildlife Services and the state Department of Environmental Conservation started harassing the crows Monday and will continue through the week. Teams of scientists spread across Auburn, using hand-held lasers, pyrotechnics and amplified crow distress calls. "They are beautiful creatures, and we don't want to hurt them. We just want them out of our downtown," said Mayor Timothy Lattimore. "We wish them well _ just somewhere else." The invasion began about 15 years ago when more than 50,000 crows started wintering in this small upstate city 20 miles west of Syracuse _ outnumbering the human population of 28,574. Residents complain the crows are a noisy nuisance that soil the city with feces and drive off other songbirds. The birds settle in the city to sleep at night after spending the day foraging for food in the countryside. Three years ago, local businessman Tom Lennox organized an informal crow hunt. The event has grown rapidly. Last year, the two-day contest in February attracted 208 hunters, some from as far away as Kentucky and Arizona. The hunters killed 1,061 birds. Crow season runs from Sept. 1 to March 31, but crows can only be hunted Friday through Monday, a legal quirk that dates to the federal 1918 International Migratory Bird Act. The hunt, though, has ruffled some feathers. Some residents think Auburn's bounty of birds is something to crow about and that the city should celebrate its avian neighbors with a festival or other promotion. Before they started, the scientists came up with a crow count of 63,800 birds _ give or take a few hundred. Auburn's roost is unique compared to others in the state because the crows roost throughout the city rather than in one location, said Richard Chipman, New York director of USDA wildlife services. Similar non-lethal hazing programs have been undertaken in Utica, Troy and Albany, which have roosts ranging in size from 6,000 to 25,000, he said. Lattimore said because of the size of the Auburn roost, there is no guarantee the heckling methods will work. If they don't, the city may have to consider more drastic steps, such as using a helicopter to herd them somewhere else, the mayor said. The aim of the project is to break the large flock into smaller, more manageable flocks and drive them out of downtown into less populated areas, Chipman said. It is hoped the program will show a measurable difference by week's end, but it is likely the hazing will have to be a yearly effort, he said. In the past 20 years, crow populations have exploded in suburban areas around the country, causing officials to investigate new control and management methods. On the Web: Crow Busters: http://www.crowbusters.com Cayuga County Crows Unlimited: http://cccrowsunlimited.com

Wednesday, December 22, 2004

Adventures in geography (Narita, Japan)


Kanji
Originally uploaded by boygirlboygirl.
You take your seat at the sushi bar. Behind a glass countertop stands a tall, young chef who looks like he's been waiting all day just to make your maki. You point to a picture and nod. Who needs Japanese lessons?

The tall, young chef prepares a beautiful strip of smoked eel and lays it across the countertop: no plate, no napkin, just right across the glass.

It looks sanitary enough; that's not what worries you. What worries you is transporting your smoked eel from countertop to plate, something for which you must employ chopsticks, your natural enemy. You check to see how the locals manage it, but you are the only one sitting at the bar. There's no control group in this experiment.

You stare at your smoked eel for what seems like hours. You are very hungry, but being mistaken for a barbarian paralyzes you.

Sunday, December 19, 2004

Adventures in geography (Monument Valley, Arizona)


Shadows, Arizona
Originally uploaded by boygirlboygirl.
It is a breathtakingly beautiful morning and the Navajo guide is tottering with drink. You regret your decision to follow him into the high desert for glimpses at rocks that were once possibly dinosaur feces.

He offers to sing you a traditional song. Before you say no, he launches into a multi-versed epic that goes on for about ten minutes after your indifference has turned into discomfort.

You are not interested in buying his blankets, so you hand him twenty dollars and quickly head back to your car.